Bad mom
by reig
Summary: Kate Beckett as a bad mom. No violent stuff or abuse, she's just a careless mom to a little boy up until Richard Castle, a wonderful father unexpectedly enters her life and makes her see how it's supposed to be done...(The story is AU!)
1. Chapter 1

**Hey everyone!  
Yeah, I'm still alive… I know I promised you guys a new story around Christmas and I feel so horrible for failing to upload but a lot has happened and my memory card was somehow erased and I lost all of this story. I was really pissed off because I had many chapters finished. So I sort of grieved for a while before starting to rewrite it. So here it is, here is what I could do…**

This idea just came to me out of nowhere and I had to write it down. I really hope you will like it! :)

_Disclaimer: I don't own the show or the characters_

_Chapter one _

Kate rummaged through her wardrobe, pulling out drawers and pushing shirts on hangers aside. She pressed her lips tightly together, raking her mind to remember when was the last time she had seen her blue cashmere sweater.

She couldn't recall dumping it in the laundry so it must be here somewhere. She furrowed her eyebrows as she turned her back to her closet and roamed her eyes over her room. Her bed was neatly made and even though there were some folded clothes in her armchair she could see that her sweater was not there.

She knew that she was already running late and that she should just put something other on and hurry up but she couldn't help feeling frustrated. She decided last night that she would wear that sweater today and she absolutely hated to change her plans. So there she was, standing in her bra and pants in the middle of her room and chewing her lower lip.

A blunt crash broke her out of her thoughts and she rushed out into the living room to see what caused the sound. She looked around but couldn't see anything at first. Everything seemed in place, just the way she left it five minutes ago. She crossed the living room and approached the kitchen counter and that was when she heard the quiet scraping sound. She rounded the counter and her eyes fell on a tiny form, kneeling next to the ruins of a bowl of cereal.

"Matty, what are you doing?" she asked and a pair of startled, blue eyes snapped up to her.

"Mommy…I'm… I'm cleaning up!" he stuttered, his cheeks turning a shade of pink as he glanced at the pieces of porcelain in his hands. "

You shouldn't touch those. They are sharp." She told him in a scolding tone and her son instantly let go of them.

"Sorry, I just… I thought you would be angry that I broke the bowl and then I thought you would be even angrier if you had to clean it up and…" he rambled nervously.

"Matt, I'm not angry…" she swayed her head and reached down to pull him to his feet even though deep down she was in fact a bit angry at him.

She was so going to be late and now she had milk and cereal all over her kitchen floor. Moreover, Matt had to change his T-shirt because it had a huge stain on it.

"Look, sweetie!" she said, using the term of endearment she so rarely used. "Go and change your shirt and I'll clean that up. Then we can go and get you to kindergarten!" she offered and squeezed his shoulders reassuringly.

The little boy gave her a nod and ran off on short legs. Kate watched with a faint smile on her face as he disappeared in his room. Then she squatted down, retrieved a small broom from one of the cabinets then got a sponge from the sink and cleaned up the mess.

By the time she threw the pieces of the bowl out Matt was back, sporting a new T-shirt with a grinning shark on it.

"Great! Can we go?" she asked, looking around for his lunch bag. Her attention was back on him when she heard his giggle. "What?" she asked, putting her hands on her hips.

"You're not wearing a top, mommy!" Matt told her with a grin, covering his mouth with his hand.

"Oh, right!" she remembered, looking down and seeing her gray bra. "Just, give me a minute!" she said and with a shy little smile she walked back into her bedroom.

Five minutes later they were both dressed in their jackets with scarfs wrapped around their necks to protect themselves from the early autumn chill. Kate locked the apartment and they hurried into the elevator where Matt eagerly pushed the button to the ground floor. Ever since he was tall enough to reach it, he always wanted to be the one to push the button and Kate was more than happy to let him if it made him so delighted.

When they got to the kindergarten Kate hopped out of the car and started towards the building then stopped abruptly when she realized Matt was not beside her. With a slight frown she turned back and felt a blush heat up her skin when she noticed her son wrestling a bit with the seatbelt before he started to climb out of the car.

She let out a relieved sigh because to be honest, she forgot to check before starting the car if he had fastened his seatbelt and she was glad that he was sensible enough, even at such a young age, that he remembered to do it without warning. She stepped back to his door and helped him get out before shutting it closed.

"Sorry Mom, I'm not being this clumsy deliberately, I swear!" her son told her with a shy smile and Kate let out a chuckle to cover the fact that she felt like she should be the one apologizing for almost forgetting him in the car.

"It's alright!" she reassured him then she almost jumped in surprise when she felt his tiny hand clutch hers as they crossed the street. She curled her fingers around his instantly and saw his happy smile as he glanced at her.

"Are you going to be really late, Mommy?" Matt asked worriedly just before they entered the modern building of the kindergarten.

"Not too much." Kate shrugged, knowing that Montgomery will let her off the hook anyway. Her captain had a sweet spot for Matt.

Once inside, they stopped in the busy hall, full of children running around, already playing or saying goodbye to their parents.

"Okay Matt, Tina's going to be here to pick you up and I'll see you tonight!" she told the boy, squatting down in front of him.

"I know, Mom. Have a good day and catch a lot of bad guys!" Matt grinned and threw his short arms around Kate. She patted his back hesitantly then stood up and with a smile turned and left him to play with his friends.

* * *

Kate's day went by rather quickly. Montgomery didn't even ask about her being twenty minutes late and then they got a case so the first time she had a moment to catch her breath was during the short five minutes she took as lunch break.

"So Beckett, everything okay? You seemed quite breathless this morning..." Esposito came up to her at the vending machine, genuine concern on his face but his voice had a hint of teasing in it as if suggesting he had an idea what kept Kate up.

"It's fine. Matt dropped his bowl of cereal and I had to clean it up first." she told him dryly, not being able to repress a smirk when he pursed his lips slightly. "What? Were you expecting some dirty details of a morning quickie? I thought you knew me better than that!" she laughed when he shrugged.

"I wasn't..." Espo mumbled then nudged Kate out of the way to buy a bag of chips for himself.

After lunch they had several leads to run down and by the end of the day they had a suspect in holding, waiting for them to interrogate him in the morning. Kate wanted to do it that day but Ryan pointed out that it was closing up on seven and they should all get home.

Beckett suddenly felt a surge of guilt as she realized that Matt was probably waiting for her to get home after he spent almost the entire afternoon with Tina. She agreed to continue tomorrow and in five minutes she was out of the precinct.

On the way home her mind was still on the case, there was just something wrong with it. Something she couldn't quite put her finger on...

She groaned internally when she remembered that she had to buy groceries and she was as quick as she could, only grabbing the necessities.

It was a quarter to eight when she got home and the apartment was suspiciously quiet. She slowly walked to the living room, taking off her shoes and hanging up her jacket on the way. There was semi darkness in the room and as she stopped at the foot of the couch she could hear soft voices coming from Matt's room. She strode along the corridor and paused just outside the room, pushing at the slightly open door so she could poke her head inside. She saw her son and his nanny, Tina on the bed.

Matt was already in his pajamas and under the covers and the young brunette was perched next to him above the blanket, a book in her lap and she was quietly reading to the boy who was regarding the pages with interest.

Kate didn't wait for them to notice her presence, after a moment she stepped back and without making any noise she went back into the kitchen. She opened the fridge, chewing on her lower lip as she ran her eyes over the shelves. She reached for the groceries bag on the counter and put the milk and cheese into the fridge then took out the box of leftovers from the weekend. With the box and a fork in hand she settled at the table and started eating the cold pasta inside.

About ten minutes later Tina appeared in the kitchen with a little smile on her face but she paused in her tracks when she noticed Kate.

"Miss Beckett, hello! I didn't know you were home..." she muttered and just stood there, a few feet away from the table.

Kate couldn't help but notice the slight dislike flicker across Tina's face as the nanny regarded her. It was gone in a second though and Tina started towards the couch.

"I'll just get going, then. Matt is already asleep, he was an angel, as always." she said, grabbing her jacket and bag.

"Thank you Tina!" Kate said with a smile, standing up to put the now empty box into the trash then she followed the nanny to the door and after saying goodnight she locked the door after her.

She couldn't help but feel like the nanny didn't like her at all. Tina tried her best to cover it but Kate was a detective and a pretty good one too, she could see the expressions on the other woman's face. She didn't comment on it though, Tina was great with Matt and that was all that mattered for Kate, she didn't need the nanny to like her.

She walked to the bathroom, switching off all the lights as she went then she took a shower, brushed her teeth and hit the pillow, already thinking about the interrogation tomorrow morning.

* * *

A week later Kate was running late again. She had promised her father that she would join him and Matt for dinner at his place, where her son spent his afternoon but they got a new lead and she had to run it down before it got cold then Lanie called her from the morgue that she had something for them and Kate just forgot about time. By the time she realized what the time it was, or more like was reminded of it by a certain Hispanic detective she was twenty minutes late.

After a series of hissed cursing she gathered her stuff and took off. Even with the subway it took her almost half an hour to get there and now as she climbed the familiar staircase leading to her father's flat she felt horrible. She knew she was too busy with work most of the time, so immersed in it that she often forgot fundamental things such as eating lunch and taking a few minutes of a break and sometimes even going to the restroom.

But she tried her best to stay in regular touch with her father because she knew exactly just how hard he took her mom's death. Ever since Matt was born it was a habit of theirs to have dinner once in two weeks at the minimum so her father could be involved in his grandson's life and also so he and Kate could catch up.

She stopped in front of the door and didn't even bother to knock, she just entered. The smell of food instantly invaded her senses and made her mouth water as she quickly took her jacket and boots off. She heard laughter from the living room so she headed that way and stopped in the doorway when she spotter her son and her father on the carpet, playing some kind of a board game in which, judging by the wild grimaces that he made to make the little boy giggle, her father was currently losing.

"Mommy!" Came the delighted exclamation of Matt as soon as he noticed her. He jumped up from his sitting position on the ground and sprinted towards her, collapsing into her leg with full force. He hugged her tightly and Kate rested her hands lightly on his little shoulders, stroking them in greeting.

"Hey Matty!" she murmured with a soft smile once he let go of her. He beamed up at her then he returned to the carpet where his grandfather had also turned towards Kate. "I'm sorry for being late, dad. I got held up at work!" she explained a bit shyly but Jim just pursed his lips together in slight disapprovement and waved her over. The upturning corners of his mouth told her that he wasn't really angry with her.

"It's okay, Katie! Any time I get to spend with this young man is quality time. Highly precious for me." he said as she came closer then he pressed a kiss on Kate's cheek.

"Thanks for watching over him." she told him with a smile as she settled on the couch and looked at the game they were playing.

"My pleasure." Jim said seriously then sat back across Matt and put on a thoughtful face. "But now, if you excuse us, we have a serious match to finish!" he told her over his shoulder with a wink and Kate chuckled, leaning back into the cushions to sit more comfortably while watching them.

Half an hour later they were all sitting around Jim's small dining table with a plate of reheated food in front of Kate and glasses of orange juice and some crackers in front of the boys.

"So Katie, tell us about this case of yours..." Jim asked in the momentary silence after Matt recounted how his best friend fell off the slide at kindergarten. Kate swallowed the bite she was eating and poked her fork into another potato before she spoke.

"Well, it all started when the body of a woman was found in the back of a taxi cab. We found out she was a Greek immigrant living in the US for almost a decade now and that she got on perfectly with everyone until two weeks ago. Then, as her friends and colleagues told us, she started acting weird and she became a bit too high tempered..." she paused to chew another bite then continued. "We started to reach people she might have ehm, angered in these weeks but we came up with nothing useful. Then Lanie found some unusual substances in her system that made us thing she was using drugs. Her friends said she would never do such thing, but everything pointed to that. We tried to work out a timeline for her last days and we realized there were hours in her days when nobody knew where she was. So we tracked her phone and her credit card and we found out she was somewhere in the shady parts of the city, though we didn't know exactly where."

"Eat!" Jim interrupted her and Kate took another forkful of food into her mouth with a smirk.

"So then, we found a note in her online calendar which gave us a lead. That was what I was running down before I came here. She was meeting with someone in a bar two days before her death but the bartender couldn't remember the name of the man she met there. She gave me a pretty good description though…" she said, finishing off her story.

"Well, I hope you catch that son of a…khm, killer, soon!" her father said, changing his choice of words at the last moment.

"Me too." Kate nodded, putting her fork down as she ate the last of her meal.

"Matty, would you be so kind and go get that ice cream that you saw in the fridge earlier?" her father said and he reached out to grab her hand before Kate could stand up to put her plate into the sink. She shot him a confused look but he motioned with his eyes for her to sit back down so she did.

"Sure!" the boy exclaimed and he was out of his seat in a moment, sprinting towards the fridge. Kate looked at her father questioningly and Jim leaned over the table conspiratorially with a grin spreading on his face.

"What are you doin' tomorow?" he asked her and Kate raked her mind to figure out what he was implying.

"Why?" she asked back with furrowed eyebrows. She had a feeling she was missing something but she couldn't grasp what it was.

"Do you know what is tomorrow?" her dad asked suspiciously and she saw doubt flash in his eyes.

"What? Tuesday?" she asked back absent mindedly, still thinking of what it can be.

"Your son's birthday…" Jim muttered and Kate felt like dropping her head to the tabletop and hitting her forehead to the wood several times over and over again. Instead she tried to keep a straight face as she nodded.

"Yeah, I know…" she said, going for a confident tone but she could see that her father saw right through her lie.

"Right." He shook his head disappointedly. "So, do you have any plans?"

"Well, I'm working so he's going to be with a babysitter…" she shrugged, looking a little bit guilty.

"Which one? Katie, the boy has had so many nannies and babysitters he can't even keep their names in his head and he's only five."

"You know what my job's like..." she muttered.

"Yes but you are not only a detective but also a mother. And you need to decide where your priorities lie." he paused for a second then shook his head. "Though it seems to me you have already decided. And it's the wrong thing." he said and his words hurt Kate like a slap in the face.

But before she could say anything in response, Matt reentered the room, clutching a box of ice cream and thee spoons and beaming happily. And Kate's stomach sank.

**So this was the first chapter. What do you think, guys? Did you like it? Well, I hope you did and I also hope you'll be nice enough to leave me a review! I'm dying to know your opinion! :)  
Thank you all for reading and reviewing! It means a lot!  
I'm crazy busy nowadays so I can't promise anything about the next update only that I will do my best to be quick about it!  
So until then, xxx **


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey everyone! Thank you all so much for the feedback on the first chapter! To say that I was blown away is an understatement… You are all amazing!  
Now here is the second chapter, I'm sorry it took me two weeks but last week was hectic for me so I practically wrote it this week… Anyways, I hope you will enjoy it!**

_Disclaimer: Not mine…_

Chapter 2

Kate sighed deeply, her brow furrowed in concentration as she finished yet another report. She placed the case file on top of the growing pile next to her on the dining table and she reached for the next sheet. For a moment she just stared at the paper, tapping her pen lightly on the tabletop.

"Mom, look!" Matt's excited voice broke her out of her thoughts and Kate turned her head towards the living room. The boy was sitting in front of the couch, building what looked like a tower out of the Legos he got from his grandfather for his birthday. Much to Jim's glee, ever since he opened the gift he couldn't stop building. The red remote control car that Kate got him was abandoned at the foot of the coffee table. He played with it only until he got the box of Legos then it was forgotten.

She looked at the tower then, it was taller than Matt on his knees, made out of different coloured squares. Matt was grinning widely at her as he waited for her approval and Kate nodded.

"Yes, it's very neat!" she said with a smile.

"Maybe... Do you..uh..." Matt started then trailed off, turning away and busying himself with arranging the box beside him.

"What is it?" she asked with a slight scowl.

"Do you want to come and build with me?" he asked shyly and turned his eyes to blink at her hopefully.

"I... I really have to finish the paperwork, Matt. But maybe...Maybe after I'm done, okay?" she said and there was an awkward silence before Matt sighed in disappointment and got back to his Legos.

"Right." he muttered and Kate swallowed as she resumed filling out the sheet.

They both knew that by the time she finished it would be too late to play.

* * *

"Hey girl, what's up with you?" Lanie's cheerful voice greeted Kate as she entered the morgue. She never knew how her friend could be so jolly when she worked with dead bodies all day.

"Not much." she shrugged as she walked closer to the table Lanie was standing next to.

"How's your boy?" the woman asked with a smile, her adoration for the boy radiating from her.

"He's good, I guess. Big fan of Lego nowadays. Seriously those little things are all around the apartment and let me tell you, stepping into one of them hurts more than freaking childbirth!" she complained, the memory all too clear and painful in her mind.

A laugh, rich and loud, burst out of Lanie and Kate rolled her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Not funny." she muttered then motioned towards the table with her victim on it. "So what can you tell me about her?" changing the subject smoothly.

"Not much she got a hell of a beating for sure. And I found traces of a tissue under her nails that I'm running through the databases now. Nothing came up yet, though..." Lanie stated, motioning towards the woman's pale neck with her gloved hand. There were several ugly dark blue and red bruises and some scrapes. "You can see the result of strangling around her neck, which as we assumed at the scene was the cause of death. I'm putting time of death between 5 and 8 pm last night." she said and Kate nodded. That seemed about right, as far as they knew the woman left her office at 4.

"Thank you Lanie!" she smiled at her best friend just as her cell phone rang. She glanced at the screen to see Ryan's name flash up and with an apologetic look she answered it. "Beckett!"

"Hey Beckett! We found a traffic camera that caught a dark blue sedan just a few corners down on 18th! Espo and I ran the license plate and guess who it belongs to! Our victim's personal assistant, Linda Gray! We're going over to her office to talk to her, you want to come?" his excited voice rang through the line as he filled her in.

"Yeah, no. I have to talk to her boyfriend but why don't you guys call me when you questioned her? It might be useful with the guy..." she said, unconsciously glancing at the clock on the wall and realizing that she should really be on her way if she didn't want to be late.

"Okay, got it! Bye!"

"Thanks, bye!" she said then hang up. "Do you have anything else for me Lanie?" she asked the latina, looking at her just as she shook her head.

"No sweetie, that's all for now. I'll call you when I get results on that tissue, though!" she promised and Kate nodded, already on her way to the exit.

"Thank you, Lanie!" she called back but she was already out of there, rushing down the corridor to get to the meeting in time.

* * *

She got home very late, around 9, still thinking about the case. They caught the killer but it seemed so surreal. Why would anybody kill their own girlfriend only because she had some secrets? Why didn't people communicate with each other instead of accusing others with things?

As she took off her boots and coat on autopilot she could hear soft voices from the apartment. Chatter and laughing. She walked into the living room to see Matt and Tina sitting on the couch side to side with a book perched on the woman's lap.

"Look Tina, this is Mike, he's the most funny guy in the whole..." Matt interrupted his explanation as soon as he caught sight of Kate in the doorway. "Mom!" he exclaimed and grinned brightly at her.

"Hey there! Hello Tina!" she greeted them as she walked further into the room towards her bedroom. "Why are you still up Matt? It's past your bedtime..." she said in a scolding tone, raising an eyebrow at the babysitter as their eyes met.

Tina snapped the book closed with a look that sort of challenged Kate to tell her she should have put the boy to bed already but then she broke the contact and stood, nudging Matt in the direction of his own room.

"Matt wanted to wait up for you." she said quietly, the cutting edge of her words going unnoticed by the oblivious little boy.

"Well I'm home now, so good night!" Kate said, her voice firm, almost regal.

"Yes. Come on Matt, let's get you to bed..." Tina said, turning her back to Kate and ushering the boy out of the living room.

"Then you must go too, Tina?" Kate heard Matt's voice as they disappeared down the corridor but she couldn't hear the answer because of the closing of the door.

She sighed, swayed her head then started for her room again. She gathered her nightwear then went to the bathroom to have a long, hot shower.

After letting all her frustration and pent up tension from the case flow away with the water running down her body, tiredness took over and soon it was overwhelming. She could barely keep her eyes open as she brushed her teeth and only her cop training made her go to the front door and check that Tina had locked it when she left before she fell into her bed and allowed sleep to pull her under.

Unbeknownst to her, just across the living room Matt forced his eyes open once again, training them on the door, waiting for his mom to come in and say goodnight. Hoping that she wouldn't forget about him...

* * *

Next morning they were in no rush. It was Kate's day off so she woke half an hour later and drank a coffee comfortably before waking Matt up. After a quick cereal for the boy she dropped him off at kindergarten.

Then she went to shop, groceries and also a new pair of shoes for herself. Walking back to her car her eyes found a bookstore and she just couldn't resist the temptation, she went in. She breathed in the smell of... Well, it was rather the smell of air freshener than the scent of books... But she loved bookshops anyways. She ran her eyes over the long lines of shelves and a smile spread on her lips without her knowledge.

She strolled around leisurely, forgetting everything else and just reading a title here and there, checking out covers that she liked. And of course, as always, she ended up in the crime section…

She only realized where she was when she stood in front of the familiar line of titles on the top two shelves. All from one author. Kate's favorite.

Richard Castle.

There was a huge sign at the end of the corridor, advertising his new book that would be on the shelves the day after tomorrow. Her smile widened as she thought of being able to have the novel in her hand by the end of the week…

Then she looked back at the well-known titles and as she read them one after the other her heart constricted painfully. He had been her mom's favorite author as well... Actually, he was her mom's favorite first. Kate only found his books after Johanna's death. And oh how she regretted it. How she regretted missing a chance to connect with her mother. Of course she couldn't have known back then that she wouldn't have long years to spend with her mom. She couldn't have known that she would lose her so soon, all those times her mom told her to try one of his books and Kate just chuckled, telling her that one day she would...

Now as she reached up and pulled one of the books out from the shelf and stared at the cover, tears welled up in her eyes as she recalled all those times she saw one of those books on the kitchen table. Or the buzzing excitement on her mother's face every time a new novel was published. How Jim and Kate would tease her about it every time...

And those tears threatened to spill down her cheeks as she remembered how she sought comfort in the empty bed of her parents after Johanna's... After she was... Dead. Jim couldn't stand sleeping in the king sized bed anymore but after weeks of sleepless nights and nightmares of her mom's corpse, Kate crawled into her parent's bed just like she did when she was little and something scared her. She nuzzled her face into her mom's pillow and inhaled her scent that lingered there even weeks after... After she wasn't around anymore. And as she lay there, staring up at the ceiling, crying soundlessly, heaving sobs shaking her body one night her eyes fell on the book that was left on the nightstand. That her mom used to read before going to sleep. She reached for it with shaking hands, smoothing her fingertips gently over the cover then closing her fingers around the spine. She brought it closer, squinting to read the title and she couldn't help but chuckle, a pathetic, watery sound that escaped her dry throat when she recognized it. Of course it would be one of her mom's favorites… A Richard Castle novel.

That was the moment Kate decided that she would read it, try it. In the hopes that it would make her pain go away, that it would bring her mom back in a way… And that night Kate read the whole book, from cover to cover, falling asleep at 8 am in the morning with the book on her chest, dead tired but with a soft smile on her lips.

When she woke up in the afternoon she got up, surprisingly feeling better than the day before, feeling a new found strength in herself, and she picked the next Castle book off her mom's shelf, bringing it with her as she left the room. From then on, she went back every other day when she finished one of the books and one by one, she devoured the novels her mother adored so much. And she understood why Johanna was such a huge fan.

She had a great relationship with her mother but she wished she could have found these books sooner, she wished she had given them a shot so they could have been another chance for her and her mom to bond. But like this, she found a weird sort of solace in the books. It was like her mom's spirit was left between those pages, her voice, her smile, a gentle look of hers, her touch was in those books. Her love for the written words pouring out of each novel and seeping into Kate as she read them.

And when half a year later the new book came out, she was there in the bookshop, standing in line for two and a half hours to get her copy signed. Her mom's copy. She got it signed to her mom's name…

A woman passing by her tore Kate out of her thoughts and she shook her head, blinking away the tears. She quickly put the book back on the shelf and took a step back. Her eyes found the big, colorful sign again and she felt the familiar tingling of excitement run through her again. Only two days left till she would be able to get the book. She wouldn't go to the signing now, she didn't do that anymore. She only went that one time, but each year she waited impatiently for the newest book to come out, continuing the tradition her mother started.

Kate pushed the book back onto the shelf to its place then with one last glance at the sign she turned and walked away. Looking at her watch she realized she had been in the bookshop for way too long now and so she went back to her car and drove home.

At home she put away everything then as she stepped into the living room she noted with a sigh that the rug really could use some tidying. So she vacuumed first then cooked some spaghetti for herself for lunch. Then she settled down at the dining table with a book and her meal, loving the quiet and calm of the apartment and a day off.

And so she ate and read. Then read some more, pushing her empty plate aside and just getting lost in the story, forgetting about everything around her.

Around a quarter to four an incoming message broke her out of the story. She reluctantly closed the book and stood to retrieve her phone. Unlocking the screen her eyes fell on the clock and she almost dropped her phone as she realized that she completely forgot about picking Matt up from kindergarten.

"Shit!" she cursed out loud and ignoring the message she locked her screen again and pushed the phone into her bag then looking around herself at the mess she left in the kitchen she groaned in frustration but knew she didn't have time to do the washing up now. So she only dumped her dirty plate in the sink then put her jacket and shoes on and was out the door.

She drove to the kindergarten in a record speed, all the while thanking whoever sent that message, the one she still didn't have the chance to check out, because otherwise she would have probably completely forgotten to go for her son.

Thanks to the traffic by the time she arrived it was almost half past four and as she made her way inside the building she could see that only a few kids were around, all of them waiting for their parents to arrive. Matt was with them, sitting on a tiny chair next to a little table, coloring something.

As she approached he glanced up and Kate could have sworn that she saw the look of utter relief cross his face before he jumped up and with a grin ran towards her.

"Mommy!" he exclaimed.

"Hi Matt! I'm so sorry for being late…" she muttered to him as he closed his little arms around her legs. She stood awkwardly for a moment before he let go and stepped back.

"It's okay now. I was just afraid that… " he looked down embarrassedly and Kate's stomach sank because she knew exactly what he was going to say. "..that you forgot about me Mom." he admitted and she wanted to cry. Because in reality, she really did forget about him...

"No of course not." she told him, lying to protect his feelings and also to make herself feel a little less horrible. "You okay to go now?" she asked and he nodded. "Great, then get your jacket and we're out of here…" she said and he ran off towards the small cabinets on the side.

She glanced at the other kids who were still waiting, all seemingly engrossed in their "work". One girl looked up and followed Matt's movements with her eyes then she turned her eyes at Kate and smiled wistfully, then she got back to her paper. Kate guessed that they all must be used to waiting this long for their parents.

Her train of thoughts was interrupted by Matt returning to her side. He was struggling with the zipper of his jacket as he came and Kate squatted down to help him.

"Thank you!" he smiled at her widely and she returned his smile.

"Let's go!" she said and he turned back to wave goodbye to his friends.

"Bye!" he said then as they started walking towards the exit he turned to her. "Are we going home?" he asked.

"Umm…no. We are having dinner at grandpa's." she said, only remembering then that her father would look after Matt tonight since she was on call from six.

"Cool!" he said enthusiastically.

"Yeah and remember you're staying the night there because I gotta work…" she said, only now realizing that she completely forgot to bring an overnight bag for Matt. She just hoped there would be something at her dad's place…

"Oh, right." Matt said and for a moment he seemed sad but then he perked up again. "Can I stay up late with grandpa?" he asked with a childishly mischievous grin.

"Of course not, you have a bedtime and that is not to be messed with, young man! Understood?" she told him strictly as they got into the car and he huffed in annoyance.

"Yes, ma'am." he muttered and Kate couldn't help but chuckle. He learned that sass from Esposito.

"Okay now, let's get going…" she said and they drove off in the direction of Jim's place.

**So, this was it. What did you think? I truly hope you liked it! Please review and tell me your thoughts, I can't wait to hear your opinion!  
Thanks all for reading and a huge thank you for each and every one of you who takes time to write me a few words! You make me crazy happy, guys! :)  
As for the next chapter, just like this, I can't make any promises though I will do my best to write it quickly! Until then, xxx **


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey everyone! I am so very sorry for being this late with the chapter. Life intervened then I had writer's block. But here it is now, I hope you will like it! :)  
Thank you all for reading and reviewing on last chapter! You totally made my day and I love each and every one of you! The intensity with which you guys hate Kate in your comments is amazing by the way… And it is the biggest compliment for me because that means I did a good job in making her detestable, or so… So thank you!  
Anyways, here is the new chapter, enjoy! :)**

_Disclaimer: I don't own the show or the characters_

_Chapter 3_

When they pulled over across the street from Jim's building Kate finally took out her cell phone to check the message which was from Ryan, informing her of a new body. She cursed internally, reading his 'come ASAP' at the end because it told her she wouldn't even have time to have dinner.

She jumped out of the car then after Matt got out as well she locked it and they headed towards the steps leading to the front door of the apartment building.

After a short ride up the elevator they arrived and Matt eagerly knocked. Jim opened the door with a wide grin almost instantly and welcomed them with hugs.

"Come in, come in!" he said and closed the door after them. Matt kicked off his shoes and threw his jacket on them then ran off, entirely at home in his grandfather's apartment.

Kate, however, stayed put and only bent down to pick up her son's jacket and hang it up.

"C'mon Katie!" her dad said as he started for the kitchen.

"I can't stay dad." she admitted in a sad voice. "I'm sorry but I just got a text from the guys, they need me at work..." she said.

"But you are off till seven aren't you?" her father asked, hovering in the doorway to the kitchen.

"Yeah, but you know how it is... He wrote as soon as possible, it sounded urgent!" she told him and saw his shoulders sink in defeat.

„Well okay… Though I'm sure they could manage without you for another ten minutes…" he grumbled and Kate grinned at him.

„Thanks dad, love you! Bye!" she called back as she exited, shutting the door after herself and striding down the hallway towards the stairs, deciding that it would be quicker.

* * *

Kate was sitting in her car later that night. She was looking up at the building across the street thinking how the harsh lights of the club on the top floor and the reflectors on the roof making it pretty obvious to every passing by that something big was going down tonight. But she knew exactly what was going on inside already.

She took a deep breath, her brain replaying the image of the latest victim. The way she was displayed, naked but covered with petals, two shot to the chest. She knew instantly what it was. Without double checking, without any doubts. It was a scene from one of her favorite books. A Richard Castle novel. She was rather surprised that neither one of the boys or Lanie recongised it, that none of them read the books. When she shared her thoughts Esposito didn't hesitate to point out that she must be a huge fangirl and tease her about it mercilessly…

So here she was, in front of the building where Castle's book launch party was being held and she couldn't help but feel totally like the fangirl she wasn't as her heart rate sped up. Taking a deep breath she exited her car and strode across the street.

All she needed to do was flash her badge at the entrance and she was inside, practically swallowed by the enormous crowd. People were chatting easily, women giggling and flirting and men pretending not to stare shamelessly at their assets in the tiny dresses they wore. Almost everyone had a glass of something in their hands, champagne, wine or a cocktail.

Kate maneuvered the crowd without much difficulty, her years on the street as an officer paying off. She scanned the mass of people, looking for a certain face. Someone that was much likely in the center of the attention tonight. However, after long minutes of searching, she still couldn't spot the author anywhere.

She was starting to get rather desperate when she caught sight of a red flash somewhere to her right. She turned her head towards it and saw two redheads at the bar. She instantly felt a wave of victory wash over her and a smile threatened to break out on her face as she recognized them. Well, from the pictures in the newspaper anyways… One of them was Castle's teenage daughter and the other his mother, so Kate guessed that they would know where exactly he was.

But before she could approach them a man stopped just beside the women and Kate couldn't believe her luck as it was just who she had been looking for. Richard Castle the author himself was standing at the counter, ordering a drink and then talking to his family. After a few moments his mother waved goodbye then disappeared between people and Kate thought this was the appropriate time to go there, she didn't have all night after all…

* * *

_What a disappointment!, _Kate thought, fuming as she shut the door of the interrogation room after herself. She just spent the better part of an hour in there, questioning the writer and she was finding it hard to believe that this… this annoying, childish ass could create those wonderful stories that entertained and amazed her thoroughly.

"So?" Espo asked as Kate reached him and Ryan at the bullpen.

"So what?" she asked, knowing full well that they probably listened to the interrogation from the other room, meaning they heard every word as well.

"Did you get his autograph?" He asked and Ryan snickered next to him.

Kate rolled her eyes and resisted punching him, instead she breezed past the boys and made her way to her desk.

"How are we on his alibi?" she asked in a professional tone.

"It checks out, it's impossible he killed Alyson." Ryan said, glancing into his notebook.

She nodded, the information not much of a surprise to her. She suspected from the start that Castle wasn't the killer but they did need him to answer to some questions. She gritted her teeth as she thought of the obnoxious author still sitting in the interrogation room. How he made fun of her every word, how he was almost excited about having a copycat. How he brazenly flirted with her throughout the whole ordeal.

A smaller commotion caught her attention in the next second.

"Where is he? Where is my son?" she heard the voice of a woman and as she looked towards the elevator she could see the familiar ginger from the party. Castle's mom. And his daughter was trailing behind the older woman with a worried expression on her young face.

She stood immediately and went to meet the women.

"Mrs. Rogers!" she called out and stepped closer with an extended arm. "My name is Detective Kate Beckett!" she introduced herself.

"She was the one at the party…" the girl murmured to her grandmother who shook Kate's hand firmly.

"I'm Martha Rogers, Richard's mother." the woman said and looked around. "So where is he? Is he under arrest? What did he do now?" she asked with a humored expression. She seemed rather curious than upset.

"He didn't do anything, ma'am. We just needed to ask him some questions and we thought it would be a bit… Quieter down here." she explained with a slight smile. "But my colleagues here will release him shortly, we just needed to file out some paperwork." she added, nodding to Ryan, motioning for him to get the man from interrogation.

In a few moments Castle was walking down the corridor with a grin on his face that only faltered when he saw his daughter and mother. He didn't stop though and Kate noticed with amazement how the cocky arrogant grin on his face disappeared and was replaced by a softness as he looked at his daughter. He opened his arms and the young girl ran to him and literally jumped into his embrace. Castle muttered something into the girl's ear that seemed to reassure her because a chuckle escaped her. The man's face lit up as well and he squeezed the girl, almost lifting her off the ground which made her giggle more.

Kate watched their interaction with a weird feeling spreading in her chest. They looked as if they were in their own world, alone and completely happy. She felt a strange sort of envy as she realized she had never had that connection with anyone…

Martha stepped closer and rubbed her son's shoulder which made them pull apart slightly but with still silly grins on their faces.

"Let's go son of mine! We seriously need to get this young lady home, let me remind you that tomorrow is a school day!" she said and Castle made a theatrically shocked face.

"Oh my, good Lord! Let's get going!" he said and finally looked at the three detectives staring at them. "Well detectives, it's been a pleasure… Detective Beckett, a real delight! I would love to do it again! Anytime you have some…free time!" he winked at her and the cocky ass was back, a smug smirk on his lips as he nodded at them as a goodbye and ushered his daughter and mother towards the elevator.

All of them followed the threesome enter the elevator and Kate gritted her teeth when Castle had the nerve to wave at them sweetly with his fingers. She rolled her eyes and turned away, striding back to her desk.

"Well that was… quite something." she heard Ryan's chuckle.

"Yeah, saw how he pushed Beckett's buttons?" she heard Esposito's amused whisper as she plopped down into her chair.

"I doubt you saw anything, since there was nothing to see!" she snapped at them then looked at the murder board. "Okay guys, we have leads to run… First I want security footage from her apartment building. Also we need to look into her phone records." she said, watching from the corner of her eyes as the guys came closer.

"Sure, you got it!" Ryan said and his partner nodded.

"Esposito have you talked to her father?" she asked and saw the man come closer.

"Yes, he's on his way. He was in the middle of a business meeting of sorts across the city. He said he would be down as soon as he could…" the detective said and Kate nodded.

"Alright, I'll talk to him when he gets here and until then let's get started…" she said, pushing away from her desk to reach for the case files.

* * *

The next morning Kate woke on the couch in the break room, just like so many times before. She had sent Ryan and Esposito home just a bit after midnight but she stayed in and studied financial records and phone records until four in the morning. She made herself a cup of coffee and sat at the table with a slightly expressionless face as she tried to put pieces together. She needed to go down to the morgue. Also Castle's mail would be coming in today so they needed to check that out.

Soon the guys arrived as well, then the Captain, scolding her for spending another night at the precinct.

They shared another coffee, the second one that morning for Kate as they watched the tapes from the building that were sent over that morning. However, when nothing useful popped up she left the boys to check the footages from the surrounding streets and instead she headed off to the morgue.

When she arrived Lanie was waiting for her in the morgue, bent over a table, studying something under the microscope.

"Hey honey!" she greeted Kate with a gleeful tilt in her voice, her lips curling into a wide grin.

"Hi Lanie, good morning!" she returned her friend's smile as she stepped closer. "What do you have there?" she inquired.

"Well, it's some tissue we found under her nails, I'm checking for DNA now but I'm afraid it's too little…" the latina sighed as she straightened up and turned to face her friend. "However I do have something for you…"

Lanie rounded a table to get to another one with a covered body on it and Kate followed her, stepping across her just as the ME pulled back the green cover from Alyson's body.

"I checked the bullet wounds and she was shot with still in her clothes. But the weapon wasn't close enough to leave a trace on her skin. No gunpowder either. I didn't find any major struggle signs either so she didn't fight. I would guess she knew her killer."

"Yes, the state of the lock on her front door suggest that as well. It wasn't forced open, she let her killer inside herself…" Kate nodded. "What else?"

"Well time of death is between 5 and 6 PM." Lanie stated.

"Thank you!"

"You're welcome, sweetie." the woman smiled then she pulled off her gloves with a snap and a chesire cat like grin spread on her face. "So…" she drawled out. "Tell me about this… case."

"This case? What do you mean?" Kate asked with narrowed eyebrows.

"You know what I'm talking about!" Lanie chuckled and gave her a pointed look.

"Uh…no?" she shook her head.

"Dammit, girl. Richard Castle! Spill!" Lanie grinned at her and Kate rolled her eyes.

"Duh, don't even start!" she said, her face contorting in annoyance as the memory of the author came up in her mind.

"Why? How was it? How is he?"

"He is a total pain in the neck. A childish, arrogant jackass!" Kate growled, her hands curling into fists at her sides.

"No way! I bet he isn't so bad…" Lanie laughed.

"He is worse… He was insensitive and made fun of the whole interrogation!" she fumed.

"You mean made fun of you… Honey, you can be a bit uptight, you know!" the woman suggested with a teasing glint in her eyes.

"That's not true." Kate protested with wide eyes but all it took was a pointed stare from Lanie for her to reconsider and realize that her friend was probably right. Not that she was about to admit that, so she only rolled her eyes one more time then crossed her arms over her chest. "Anyways, luckily I don't have to tolerate him any longer. Today we get his fanmail, sort it through and then we are done with him…" she sighed contentedly.

"Yeah, sure. He totally got to you, I can see that! You should…you know…" Lanie winked and Kate felt herself flush as it dawned on her what her friend meant.

"Shut up Lanie!" she muttered. The silence between them stretched out and she could almost feel the woman's grin on her when the buzzing of her cell phone interrupted them.

Kate pulled it out and opened the text message from Esposito.

_'Yo Beckett. We've got a situation here, come back as soon as you can!' _

She sighed as she read it, wondering what it could be. Maybe they found a new lead…

"Sorry Lanie, I gotta go." she apologized.

"Yeah sure, you always have more important stuff. Go, detect and kick those asses!" Lanie told her with a small wave as she picked up a file from a desk.

"Thanks. I'll talk to you later. Bye!" she said and hurried out.

* * *

When she arrived at the precinct she didn't see anything out of place at first. She got out of the elevator and made her way towards the desks, her eyes catching sight of the boxes on the huge table in the conference room. She stepped inside, looking at the piles of letters and envelopes.

"Wow." she murmured as she took in. Castle's fanmail was…extensive.

She went closer to the table and reached out, picking up one of the papers. She unfolded it and ran her eyes across the words scrawled on the paper.

_'Dear Mr. Castle,  
I adore you, you truly are a talent. I hope you will write many more books because they are amazing!  
Best wishes, Mary Hopkins'_

Kate repressed a snort as she put the letter on the table and reached for another one.

"Looking for your own letter, Beckett?"

She jumped on the spot, spinning around to face a very familiar, grinning face with a scowl on her face.

"I didn't write…" she trailed off as Castle's grin only widened. "What the hell are you doing here Castle?" she asked him.

"I brought in my fanmail, just like you asked, detective Beckett." he shrugged, blinking at her with innocent eyes.

"I asked you nothing of the sort. I certainly never asked you to come in here." she stated coldly and he feigned hurt. "Anyways, thank you for your help. Goodbye!" she said, emphasizing her last word, sending him the message that she didn't want him around any longer.

"Hey, hey wait!" he said just as she turned away from him. She looked back with irritated eyes. "I wanna help!" he said and her eyes widened.

"No." she said simply.

"What? Why not?" he asked and came further into the room. "I know these letters, I read them… And I'm a fast reader, I can be of help!" he tried to convince her.

"No, Castle. This is police work. A serious investigation, not a playground." she told him bluntly.

"I know that." he said and for the first time Kate could see something like sincerity flash in his eyes.

"Well then you understand why you need to go home." she said, considering the subject closed.

"Please Beckett. Someone is killing people the way I write it in my books. It's like… " he sighed before continuing "…It feels like it's my fault." he admitted, looking at the ground.

"It is not. It's the murderer's fault."

"I know that…but still…" he said and then shrugged helplessly. And for a moment she felt a bit sorry for him. But then he added something that made her blood boil. "Anyways, I already talked about it with the captain and I kinda have his blessing, so you just gotta put up with me!" he said then went past her and plopped down into one of the chairs, reaching for a box.

Kate just stood there, gaping, not quite believing that the captain, her captain would do that. That he would make a decision like that without her.

"Are you going to stand there all day?" Castle asked her after a minute, glancing at her from his seat with an insolent smirk.

All she did was glare at him before turning around and storming out of the conference room and towards the captain's office. The door was open but she still knocked twice on the door post.

"Yeah?" the captain murmured, reading a document. Then as he looked up and saw her he smiled. "Beckett, hello. Come in!" he said, motioning towards the chair in front of his desk.

Kate entered and closed the door behind herself as she went to stand across from her boss.

"Sir, I…uh… Richard Castle is here, and he claims.. that…he had talked to you and that you allowed him to…" she stuttered, not quite knowing how to ask what was on her mind without sounding disrespectful.

"That I let him help you with this case?" Montgomery asked and Kate nodded. "That is right, detective. Mr. Castle will consult you on this case. He knows those murders so he can be helpful. Also, I hear he is looking for a main character for his new book…" the man said and Kate felt her disbelief morphing into anger.

"But sir, you can't… do that. I mean, he's childish and… irritating. He'll be in the way. I can't…" she tried but the captain silenced her with a questioning look.

"Beckett. This man is friends with the mayor. If he wants to work this case, he will… You know how it is, if the mayor's happy, the police chief's happy. And if he's happy then I'm as well…" Montgomery said with a small smirk and Kate felt frustration rise in her.

"Sir, please… I can't work with him." she shook her head, thinking how Castle annoyed her already.

"Well you better make it work, Beckett, because he's staying!" Montgomery stated and he raised one eyebrow, challenging her to go up against him. But of course she wouldn't…

She only swallowed hard then took a deep breath and nodded.

"Yes sir." she said, already thinking of ways to kill Castle. Lanie would probably help her hide the body, right?

"Good, now go. I think you have a murderer to catch!" he said and Kate couldn't even be mad at him because his eyes were warm, benevolent.

She turned around and exited the office only to freeze and stop short in her tracks the moment she stepped out into the bullpen.

**So this was it. What do you think? I would love to hear your opinions so please write me a few words in a review! :)  
So this is how they meet… I decided to stick to the original story in a way, but I will change some bits as you can already see…  
Also I messed up a tiny detail in last chapter which I corrected in this one, I hope it didn't bother anybody too badly…  
Thank you all for reading and a huge thanks to those of you who take time to review! You guys are the best and I love you!  
I promise I will try to hurry up with next chapter! It is already done in my head, so all I have to do is write it down! I'll do my best! Until then, xxx**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey everyone! First of all, I am so very very sorry for being this late with the update. I mean I wanted to update sooner, much sooner but life got in the way. Being a high school senior is much harder than I thought. And the finals are coming up… Anyways, nobody cares, I know! :)  
And second, I can't even begin to tell you how amazing you all are and how happy your reviews and alerts make me! So thank you, thank you again and again! :)  
Here comes the new chapter, I hope you'll enjoy it!**

_Disclaimer: Nothing is mine. Just the mistakes…_

_Chapter 4_

Jim Beckett stood in the entrance of the bullpen, holding the hand of no other than Matt, who looked a little shy. Jim scanned the room and when his eyes found Kate he took a step forward.

The movement brought Kate out of her daze and she rushed to meet them with narrowed eyebrows.

"Dad? What are you doing here?" she questioned with a good amount of worry in her tone. She stopped in front of them glancing down at her son. "Why isn't Matty in kindergarten?"

"I'm sorry for bothering you at work Katie but Matt was feeling sick so I had to go and get him…"

"Sick?" Kate murmured, looking at her son who did indeed look rather pale.

"Mommy…" he kind of whimpered and he let go of his grandfather's hand in order to take a step forward and wrap his arms around Kate's leg.

She put her hand on the top of his head and ruffled his hair lightly.

"Hi there! You not feeling okay?" she asked him softly and he shook his head with a sad expression on his face.

Kate squatted down next to him with a small smile on her lips.

"What hurts, sweetie?" she asked.

"Tummy. And my head." he muttered and in the next moment tears started to well up in his eyes.

"Hey hey, don't cry..." she murmured to him, chuckling slightly when a single tear trickled down his cheek. "It's nothing serious, Grandpa will take you home and you'll lay down and sleep it off. Tomorrow you won't even remember that you weren't feeling well!" she promised him but as her eyes found Jim's she could see that something was wrong.

"Actually, I'm very sorry Katie but I cannot take Matt home. I tried to call in but I am needed at the office today." Jim told her apologetically.

"Oh…" Kate muttered, slowly standing up and a frown appearing on her face. She didn't know what to do now. Her brain was on overdrive for a moment, trying to think of a solution… She couldn't go home now, no there was no way. They had a bunch of work to do, it was the middle of a case. To top it all Castle was there with all his fanmail that needed to be sorted. She was needed here as well.  
But on the other hand, Matt had to lay down. Sleep it off. He couldn't stay there of course, somebody had to take him home. She doubted any babysitter would be available now, and also she knew for a fact that her son wouldn't want to go home with a stranger or somebody that wasn't family. That was just how sick children were…

"Mom?" she heard a tiny voice and she snapped out of her thoughts. She met her father's expectant gaze and glanced down at the boy still clutching her leg.

"Right… uh… Well I'm in the middle of something very important right now…." she started and she almost jumped when she met the eyes of a very unimpressed Jim. His stare seemed to say _'Don't you dare continue!'_

She felt the heat rush to her cheeks as she averted her gaze and looked down into the expectant eyes of Matt instead.

"I'm not sure I can leave right now. You know, it's the middle of the case..." she said and saw how her son's whole face seemed to fall, his eyes turning sad and the corners of his little mouth turning down.

She felt it all like a punch in the gut and she closed her eyes for a moment before turning back towards the conference room, where she could see Castle at the table playing with his phone. Like a 5-year-old, she thought with annoyance. Then an image came up in her mind, the scene from last night, him and his daughter, Alexis. How they smiled at each other and seemed to understand each other with just one look. She couldn't believe it was the same man...

She turned back to her son and sighed.

"You know what? I'll go tell the Captain about the situation then I have a tiny bit of work I cannot leave here but after that we'll head home. And until then, you can lay down in the break room. There is a big couch, with fluffy pillows and a comfy blanket. You'll see!" she told him and saw that he wasn't very content with the idea but he didn't protest he just nodded and squeezed his arms around her leg.

She looked up into her father's approving eyes and saw a little smile on his face.

"Okay, I better get going! Goodbye Matty, get well soon!" Jim said and bent down to give the little boy a hug. Matt clung to his grandfather for a moment then gave him a big kiss on the cheek which made Jim chuckle.

"Bye Grandpa!" Matt murmured.

"Bye Katie. I'll call you later, okay?"Jim kissed her on the cheek and Kate nodded.

"Bye Dad." she waved before he turned away and walked to the elevator. "Come on, kid. Let's go see that couch!" she said and putting her hand on Matt's shoulder, she lead him into the break room.

She helped him settle down, pulled the blanket around him, tucking it under his chin and as she stepped back she noticed a tiny little smile on his face. It wasn't much but it was enough to bring out the dimples in his cheeks.

"Now try to get some sleep." she murmured to him and he nodded then obediently closed his eyes.

Kate exited the room, pulling the door closed behind herself. She glanced to the captain's office, chewing on her lower lip as she did so. Then she eyed the conference room, seeing the author bent over the table, examining a paper, probably one of those so called letters. A deep sigh escaped her as she set off towards the office and she stopped just outside, knocking twice on the doorframe.

"Yes?" she heard from inside and she stepped in. But before she could go any further the stern voice of her captain made her halt. "No, Beckett. I don't care if he's infuriating or childish, you need to put up with him for this case. Learn to work with him, it will be good for you!" the man said and Kate's mouth slightly fell open.

"I...uh..." she muttered, not knowing what to say for a moment before she composed her thoughts. "That's not it, sir. I..actually I have a situation here..." she admitted and he looked up at her with a raised eyebrow.

"A situation?" he asked in an intrigued tone.

"Yes. Matt is here." she told him and saw the way his eyes seemed to light up at the mention of her son. There was no doubt the captain adored Matt.

"What is he doing here?" he asked but there was no trace of anger in his voice.

"My father brought him in, he was feeling ill and my dad went to get him from kindergarten. But he can't take him home because he has to go to work." she explained.

"I see. So you want to..." he left the ending hanging in the air but she was sure he knew what she wanted.

"I wanted to ask for permission to... go home, sir." she said, professional and quiet.

"Yes, of course. Go, Beckett, take your boy home." the captain nodded with a smile and Kate allowed one to spread on her face as well.

"Thank you, sir." she said and retreated, walking out of the office.

"I hope he gets better soon. And Beckett!" he called after her and she looked back from the doorway. "Just call in if you need to stay home tomorrow too!" he told her and she nodded.

"Thank you."

She heads back to her desk, grabbing a stack of paperwork that needed to be done that day and then she made her way to the break room.

She opened the door quietly, making sure not to wake Matt up in case he fell asleep. But as soon as the door was opened she could see that her son was far from sleeping, in fact he was giggling sweetly at someone who had their backs to her.

She stepped inside and her heart sank into her stomach as she recognized the other person in the room.

"Castle!" she called out and she could see the man freeze. He turned around and stared at her with wide eyes.

"Beckett…hey…uh…" he muttered and stood up from his spot where he was sitting on the edge of the couch.

"Hey mommy!" Matt smiled at her from under the covers.

"You are supposed to be resting, mister, aren't you?" she asked from him and he averted his gaze.

"Yes, but… he's funny…" he said looking at the man next to him and a grin spread on his face.

"Yeah right. What are you doing here Castle?" she asked, sounding less than impressed.

"I got bored. And tired. So I thought I would just…get a coffee." he stammered, trying very hard to explain himself and she would have actually laughed at the fact that she managed to make him squirm if she wasn't so annoyed by him. He pointed at the cup of coffee on the table with a grimace. "That stuff is seriously shitty, by the way. It's like poison…" he added.

"Language!" she scolded him and he winced.

"Sorry…" he said. "Anyways I came in here and saw this little man here, tucked under the covers and it's not like it's usual for five-year-olds to spend their free time in precincts, you know. So I just asked him who he was and what he was doing here and… and then you came in…and I'm just…" he trailed off and the silence was interrupted by the chuckle of Matt.

"He said you were badass like Batman in a woman, mom. You're Batwoman!" he said lightly, not sensing the tension between the adults.

"Batwoman, huh?" Kate asked, raising an eyebrow at Castle.

"Yeah!" he grinned, nodding and Kate had to roll her eyes. "I didn't know you had a son, by the way…" he told her seriously.

"Yes well, it's not like you asked…" she said, repressing the urge to say that it was none of his business. No need to be rude in front of Matt.

"Mom, can we go home now?" the voice of the little boy sounded and Kate looked at him.

"I have a little work to do, remember?" she asked and he nodded, his face turning a bit sad. "But Mr. Castle will leave now and you can rest, okay? I'll come and do my work here, next to you!" she told him, sending Castle a warning look.

"Yes, I'll go now." Castle nodded and then turned his eyes back to the little boy. "Get well soon, buddy! I hope we meet again!" he said and Matt smiled up at him.

"Goodbye, Mr. Castle!" he said good naturedly, mimicking his mother's way of saying his name.

"It's Rick!" the man winked then he turned away and made his way to the door, stopping only when he was standing right in front of Kate.

"I think it's time for you to head home for today, Castle." Kate said.

"Why would I go?" he shrugged.

"I will go home with Matt." she pointed out.

"So? I'm not here for you, Detective Beckett. I'm here to work the case, even if that disappoints you…" he murmured to her with a saucy smirk at which she shook her head.

"Just go, okay?" she said.

"You're standing in my way…" Castle told her and she wanted nothing more than to slap that shit-eating grin off his face.

She stood aside, gritting her teeth and giving him a glare as he moved to exit and made a show of rubbing up against her as he went past her.

"Bye Beckett!" he called back above his shoulder before she closed the door after him, not even bothering to say goodbye.

She turned back to the break room and saw Matt smiling at her. Or more like at the now closed door.

"He's funny." he said as he turned on his side under the blanket.

"You should sleep some." she said, not acknowledging his words.

"I never saw him before. Is he new, mom?" he asked, seemingly hooked on the subject.

"No he's just working this one case. Then he's gone." she said, sounding all too hopeful.

"Oh… I like him." he murmured quietly.

"You like everybody, Matt." she told him and he shrugged. "Sleep now, okay? I'll wake you up when I'm ready to leave…" she said and waited until he closed his eyes.

"Okay." he whispered.

She waited until she was sure he fell asleep then she made her way back to her desk and grabbed some files from it. She quickly called Ryan and Esposito to tell them she would be heading home in about 20 minutes and then, after promising them she would tell Matt they sent their regards she settled down at the table in the break room with a cup of freshly brewed coffee in front of her (it was totally okay, not at all like poison!) she started filling out the paperwork that needed to be done that day.

**So this was it. What do you think guys? :)  
I would love to know your opinion and thoughts so please leave me a review! It would totally make my day!  
Thank you all for reading and a huge thanks to those who take the time to leave me a few words! You guys are my inspiration!  
I can't make any promises about next chapter, I don't even know what it will be about just yet. All I can say is that I'll do my best to hurry and that it probably won't be next week since I'll have my exams next week… But I think I can upload the week after that! Oh and if anybody has something they really want to see in this story please don't hesitate to tell me! :) **


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey everyone! Yes I know, I'm a horrible horrible person and I can't even tell you how sorry I am for making you wait so long! But my finals are almost over (one more tomorrow, then I'm all done with the written part) and then I'm all yours and this story's so updates will probably be more frequent! :)  
In the meanwhile, the biggest THANK YOU to all who reviewed and favorited and followed last chapter and also if you're still with me and waited for this chapter! You guys are the very best and I am so grateful for you! :)  
So, here is the new chapter, I know it might be a bit shorter than the previous ones but I didn't want to start the next idea in this chapter so I had to cut it there. But don't worry, I already started writing the next chapter so it will be up sooner this time! :)  
On to the chapter, please enjoy!**

_Disclaimer: Nope, I don't own it…_

_Chapter 5_

"Yes Dad, yes we got home all right. Yes I checked his temperature. It was close to 102 degrees…"

Kate sighed, stopping in her movements to make dinner.

"Yes I know, he's asleep now..." she murmured, careful to be very quiet not to wake her son.

She stepped to the fridge and took out the cheese then bumped the door with her elbow to shut the door.

"I didn't give him anything yet, I wanna see if he can sleep it off." she told her father.

She tilted her head, pinning the phone between her ear and shoulder so she could start to cut up the cheese.

"How was work? Is everything okay?" she asked.

She quickly finished up her salad, listening to her father telling her of the case he was working on, adding 'Hmm's and 'Yeah's here and there.

"Yeah, no I think I'll stay home with him tomorrow." she said as she took her bowl to the table and sat down. "All right, goodnight Dad. Talk to you tomorrow! Yeah, sleep tight!" she chuckled as she hung up then she put the phone on the tabletop and started to eat.

She usually wasn't much of a salad-eater but for some reason she craved the vegetables that night. Also it didn't hurt that a salad was full of vitamins, she really didn't want to catch whatever Matt had picked up.

She was around halfway through her light meal when the silence of the apartment around her was broke by a rustling sound. She put her fork back into the bowl and spun around to gaze into the dimly lit corridor.

A small smile crept onto her lips though as she saw the little boy stumbling out of his bedroom, clutching his blanket like his life depended on it.

"Matty? Why aren't you asleep?" she asked as she stood from the table and walked towards him.

"I had…a bad dream…" he muttered, seeming rather embarrassed. He gripped the corner of his blanket tighter and pulled it up to his chin. He only took little steps now, swaying rather than walking.

"Oh… Do you wanna…Talk about it?" Kate asked as she got to his side and stroked back his hair from where it was stuck to his forehead. She could feel that he was still burning up, making a frown appear on her face.

"No… too scary…" he whimpered and she nodded, repressing a chuckle.

"Okay, then. Let's go back to bed, shall we?" she offered and with a hand on his shoulder she turned him around and pushed a little so he would fall in step with her as she made her way back to his bedroom.

Once inside the dark room the only source of light was the star shaped nightlight in the corner so Kate flicked on the little lamp on her son's bedside table. She watched as Matt practically toddled to his bed, all the while glancing around with a frightened look in his eyes.

"It's okay, Matty… No monsters here! See?" she assured him with a smile and a focused expression appeared on his face as he looked around one more time.

"Could you… uh.. nothing…" he trailed off, shaking his head as he climbed into his bed and drew the blanked up to his nose again, half of the thing still down on the floor.

"What is it?" she prodded as she stepped up to his bed and lifted the blanket so it was fully covering him.

"Could you… maybe check in the closet for me?" he asked and as soon as the words were out of his mouth a deep shade of red crept up his cheek and he averted his eyes. "Uh…never mind, it's… nothing." he said and he turned away from her towards the wall.

"Hey, come on!" Kate called to him and jabbed a finger lightly into his side to make him turn back to her. "Of course I'll check the closet!" she grinned at him and she almost laughed out loud at the way his eyes lit up in relief. "That's what mommies are for…" she murmured and she made a show of approaching the small wooden cupboard in the room like she was a hunter and it was a prey.

She moved slow, as a wild, nocturnal cat and from time to time glanced back above her shoulder at Matt who at first seemed horrified but by the time she reached the closet he had a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips.  
She jumped in front of the cupboard and grabbed the handles then with a sudden move and a loud battle cry she pulled it open.

A single T-shirt fell out and 'attacked' her but she turned around with a grin, folding the clothing as she looked at her giggling son.

"See? No monsters…" she pointed behind her with a thumb. "What?" she asked when he was still just laughing. A grin spread across her face as she watched him. "You laughing at my hunting techniques?" she asked then growled and threw the shirt in the armchair before launching herself forward and starting to tickle the boy.

"No, noooo…please don't!" Matt shrieked. "You're a wonderful hunter, mom!" he gasped and she finally stopped her torture.

"Good. Now, sleep." she said as she stood up and reached down to tuck the covers around him.

"Yes, ma'am." he nodded seriously and closed his eyes.

She backed away but he opened his eyes once again, looking at her expectantly.

"What?" she murmured.

"You forgot my goodnight kiss…" he muttered drowsily and she rolled her eyes.  
She leaned back down and pressed her lips to his cheek then she switched the lamp off and moved to the door.

"Goodnight, mom." she heard the weak whisper behind her as she pulled the door closed.

"G'night." she murmured back just as the door clicked shut.

As she made her way back to her abandoned dinner a strange, warm, bubbly feeling invaded her stomach that she couldn't quite place. The smile that she didn't even notice was on her face seemed to be permanently glued there. She rolled her eyes at herself, not knowing how to explain it. She just hoped the strange feeling didn't mean she was coming down with the flu as well…

* * *

Two days later Kate was sitting on the couch with a cup of hot tea between her palms. She was reading a book (not a Castle book!) while Matt was watching some cartoon on Tv, the sounds of it providing a lovely background noise for Kate.

They had spent the last days like this, Matt resting and Kate trying her best to get her mind off the case the team had been working on, the case about which she knew nothing. It was driving her crazy. She cleaned and did all the laundry and already finished reading a book. She even tried watching one of those silly kid programs on Tv with Matt but it didn't work. At all.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the ringing of her cell and she set her book aside to pick it up, a delighted and excited smile appearing on her face when she saw that it was the precinct. Maybe the guys needed her and wanted to consult her on the phone…

"Beckett!" she picked it up.

"Uh… Beckett? Hi…It's…" the voice from the other end stuttered, sounding shy but she recognized it anyways, interrupting him.

"Castle?" she asked incredulously.

"Yeah, it's me." he said and she could hear the grin in his voice. "I'm flattered you recognize my voice, detective! I see I had a lasting impression on you…" he teased her, his voice deep and suggestive and made Kate want to punch him in the face. Or well, in this case, hung up on him instantly.

"Yeah. No. How do you know my number Castle? And why are you using the precinct phone?" she asked, irritated with him already.

"I asked Ryan. And he said you was speed dial 'numero uno' on the precinct phone, so that's why I'm using it!" he said simply.

"Right…" she said, sounding rather unimpressed. "So why on Earth are you even calling me in the first place?" she asked with a sigh. She sounded rude, she knew but she couldn't care less. She was at home, knew nothing about the case and knowing that this smartass manchild was having a ball in her precinct was enough itself, she didn't need his annoying antics on the phone as well.

"Why so hostile, detective?" he asked in a hurt voice. "I was just calling to…" he started but she cut him off again.

"To annoy me? To boast about the mess you made of my case?" she asked, her eyebrows narrowed.

"No…I wanted to know how your boy was..." he said a little hesitantly and Kate felt her anger and irritation disappear and be replaced by pure surprise.

"Oh…"

The pause after her astounded reply seemed to stretch on and on until it was completely awkward and Castle must have felt it too because just as if he decided to have mercy on her, he broke the silence.

"So? Is he feeling any better?" he inquired and Kate was shocked to detect real care in his tone.

"Uh…well, yes. I guess, yeah…" she muttered and she glanced at Matt who still had his eyes glued to the Tv. "He's okay."

"Great! That's good…" he said enthusiastically then they both fell quiet again.

"Well..uh, yes. Thanks for…uh, calling?" she stammered and really it sounded more like a question than a statement.

"Yeah. No problem…" he answers.

"I…uh…" Kate looks around, desperately searching for something, anything that would serve as an excuse to hang up. Coming up with nothing, she sighed and a scowl appeared on her face. "I gotta go now. Bye Castle!" she rushed out and after hearing the man's goodbye she hung up.

She stared at her cell phone for a long minute after that, confusion apparent on her features.

"Was it the funny man?" she heard from the armchair and her eyes snapped up to see Matt leaning over the armrest to look back at her with interested eyes.

"Yes, though I don't find him funny at all." she grumbled and Matt shrugged.

"I think he's funny. Why did he call?" he asked, almost falling out of the armchair in his eagerness.

"He called to ask how you were doing…" she told him honestly and hated the way his eyes lit up immediately. She knew it was wrong, and it wasn't the fact that he was happy about something that she disliked but the thing that made him so happy. She didn't like it at all that her kid was so… Easily charmed by Castle.

"Really?" he asked.

"Yeah." she said with a little shrug.

Matt just looked at her silently for another second then with a wide smile spread across his face he pulled back and settled back down into the armchair, continuing his cartoon without saying another word.

Kate glanced at her phone again then with the roll of her eye she put it on the coffee table then got back to her book.

**And this was it. What did you think guys? Did you like it?  
I know, Kate was a bit out of character in the first part, I mean maybe she wouldn't have done the whole monster-hunting thing… And I did consider rewriting it (see why it takes me so long to update?) but I just liked that scene too much! See it as the very first step of Kate's redemption or something like that… Because I do believe that she isn't being a bad mom deliberately. And that's why she doesn't really understand her sort of new feelings afterwards… Anyways, I hope you liked it!  
And pretty please tell me your thoughts, write me a review! It would mean the world, honestly!  
Thank you all for reading and a huge thanks and a hug to those who take time to review! You are all my heroes! ;)  
As I mentioned in the beginning, I already started writing the next part so hopefully it will be up soon! I promise here and now, that it will be up in a week! Or at least I'll do my absolute best to make it happen! So until then, xxx **


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